In the same week I was told I needed bifocals, was put on medication to mitigate problems with high cholesterol, was told I needed to loose 35 pounds and was diagnosed with sleep apnea. I celebrated at week’s end by stopping off at McDonalds for lunch. I justified it by assuring myself I could not see what I was eating and after taking a quick 2 hour nap in their booth, I had forgotten all about the event.
In my younger years a typical physical included a list of questions from my doctor. “Do you have heart palpitations, how many times do you get up to urinate during the night, do you have problems with dry mouth, do you have issues with headaches, does it hurt when you poop, etc….
As I have been getting older, I have been anticipating the list of questions would only get longer but I have noticed the list of questions has gotten shorter. Now I go to the doctor and I start the conversation “Doctor, it hurts when I poop!” Only to get the response, “Yup.” I now realize they stop asking some of the questions because in our early years they are considered symptoms but as we age they become expectations.
I recently got rid of my car payment and my gas guzzling truck and purchased the oldest car with the highest mileage that I have ever owned (my car hurts when it poops too..). For the first time in my life I went to a car dealership, signed only one document and plunked cash on the table. It was simple.
The car may require the occasional tow truck to get me where I am going but when I do have one of those frustrating days where I have missed my ‘oh so important’ engagement, I can at least be comforted by the fact that when the tow truck driver drops me off I do not have to go in the house and write a check to my bank for my car payment.
My house is younger than I am and it is a much nicer house than I ever thought I would live in. A good friend of mine has often referred to it as a “starter castle.” It has a huge yard that I do not like taking care of, it has a huge concrete driveway that I do not need which takes forever to shovel and it even has three bathrooms for two people. By golly, if we have to go number two at the same time, my house still has room for someone to stop in as they are walking by and use the can.
When people visit, they often comment on how much they like my house. What I find interesting is that while I am receiving these accolades from friends and relatives, I am often thinking to myself, “why is it that I do not like it?” Then I recall, “oh yes, it is because I am the poor ol’ sod who is spending weekends digging around in flower gardens so others may enjoy looking at them.
If I look back at my perception of the relationship between speed and time, I have had what I understand to be the typical experience. Even though time moves at the same pace, many of us do not experience it that way. I am in my mid forties, 46 to be exact. Years 25 to 35 went fast. Years 35 to 45 went even faster. The entire block of years 25 to 45 went faster than years 5 – 25. When I do that kind of math, my analysis is that I will be 65 tomorrow.
I am seeing old up ahead (and for all you 60 something’s, I do not leverage the term old in a derogatory way). My point is not that I will be old and decrepit in 20 years (I guess I might be, but if I make good choices about my own health and well being, chances are I will not be) but to look forward and have a plan that leads me in a direction. This has prompted me to ask myself “What do I want the next 20 years to look like and where do I want to be when I am 65?”
I have recently gained awareness that in the past 20 years I have admired the people around me who have things. I am beginning to see the value in not having things and I may spend the next 20 years ejecting things in favor of having the time to harbor the experiences around me. At least that seems like a good goal.
It may be time to trade the starter castle in for the starter home. One bathroom will do the trick. I can trade square feet for easy to clean, flexibility for usability and impressive for comfortable. I can trade space for charm and get a whole new kind of freedom. I can trade working on the yard for sitting on the porch. It just might be time to trade the things I want for the things I need.
It is time to trade the car payment for the car repair. It is time to trade in the boat and go fishing with a car and a pair of waders. It is time to trade my quiver of bikes for my favorite bike. I am tired of choking on my stuff.
I have heard this adage a few times. “Experiences are more important than things.” It has not always been this way for me but today, I would rather spend $5000 on a vacation to Europe than buy a $5000 television. Maybe that is easy for me to say since I already have a nice television but I certainly didn’t shell out $5000 for it and experiencing Europe seems like a bargain at that price.
I guess when it comes down to it; we all have our things we love too. Ask me the same question about $5000 but change the television option to a new road bike and I will have to do some noodlin’ on that one. I just might go for that new bicycle and leave Europe to others for today.
A friend of mine who I very much look up to often says “Life is what happens when we have other plans.” Change is common and plans are frequently altered but these are not reasons to campaign against planning. I think a good plan in your pocket is worth the time it takes to maintain it. By the way, if you Google “What is shorthand for Life is what happens when we have other plans” it returns “Poop Happens.”
Well, I have run out of thoughts and I am not even sure what point this post is meant to convey. It may seem to you that I was only looking for a reason to reference poop several times. I have declared a position that will likely change for me tomorrow. I will probably move to the country, purchase a home with a huge lot and spend the next 20 years mowing the lawn, cleaning my swimming pool and complaining about how long it takes to commute into town.
But…maybe… it will be something I haven’t even thought of yet. If so, when the time comes, the first thing I will do is poop, then I will take a nap and then I will alter the plan and move ahead.
